It is usually claim that happiness and joy between newly-wed couples start losing its charm the moment woman conceives. Below are the some points-to-ponder to stop this ebb-away of relations.
Beside all the exhilaration and anticipation about the new-comer, ‘What will he or she look like? What would be the name? Whether it would be a ‘Saleem’ or ‘Salma’?’ It might be advantageous to ask your partner a different sort of question. For example, ‘What would become of us, as a couple?’ And if the answer is that baby would bring you two closer, that you might be half right.
Having a baby would indeed put couple-relations into test and the outcome of which two of you will probably never have experienced. Social psychologist say that having a baby is surely a crisis for the couple, because it is real test of their maturity and partnership and often it has been observed that after having a baby most of the couple instead of coming closer, marital contentment takes a nosedive.
A study shows that marital joy started deteriorating in pregnancy duration and stayed down as babies reached five months to two years.
But on the other hand, many-a-mums say that they were never told about any such thing before. Because mothers have to give more time to their babies and it is lace of time for their spouses, tiredness and overwhelming need to nurture your child and you almost forget him, that’s what takes the relationship to the lowest of levels.
Remember, it always takes some time for relationships to recover. Another study which tracked marriages over 50 years shows that couples marriages go better when their children left home. So women, you will be happy with your relationships within a span of twenty-year. But that is a western research based on their social norms and customs. On the contrary in the East, in our culture and society usually the relationships don’t take that long time to turn around, as child grows older and old-joy and love jumps back.
This is true to some extent that woman are sometimes less tolerant of their husband’s inability to multitasking, and knows they would be irritating to each other the more time they spend together during the phase the child is growing up.
Most women acknowledge the fact that they are less spontaneous in their social life, their conversation and even in their sexual behavior, they become less romantic, but they do have strong arguments for that. They present their arguments that years of washing the dishes, of bathing and feeding the children, of sharing mundane chores, actually these all would become the basis of solid and long-term family relations.
Just ponder over the scenario, when you are so tired you can’t even speak; the baby won’t stop crying and your husband seems to be demanding at times. Isn’t this all annoying? As some wise women said you should believe the horror stories, children have a huge impact on relationship and it we all vary in how we deal with the pressure. A lot of couple lives like two separate souls before having a baby. It is the baby that unites them into parenting-bonds. When you have a baby, everything changes with it. It is crucial to bear in mind that we have high expectations for our relationships but low tolerance for hard work in maintaining this relationship – as a couple – may put your ties into peril.
What actually happens is that when first child comes into this world, both mother and father fall so in love with that little-guest and they don’t left with any spare love for each other. They both so exhaust and overwhelmed by the enormity of the change the baby brings in their lives, so while they still love each other and are happy, slowly and unintentionally they become less connected as a couple and more of parents.
On most occasion as the relationship gets better, it goes pear-shaped again soon after the birth of second baby and after the third-one they barely even get five minutes to talk to each other, but remember nothing would affect the quality of your child’s life than the quality of relations with your hubby, so keep your marriage happy and healthy and it is the best thing you can do for your baby and to yourself.
A trick will do
The easiest tip is to call your husband while he is at work and tells him how much you love him. In the evening instead of eating early and falling comatose in the front of television; wait for your better-half and have dinner with him where you can have your talk and laugh.