Power of Directed Attention

There is nothing, as powerful as parental attention. This more that any other thing can both explain most problems and fix them as well. But why should attention be so powerful?

Attention for children is a way for them to feel security, feel loved and wanted. 

Many parents wonder why their children don’t talk to them.  “How was school?”  “Fine” or “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”   Parenting is the art of paying attention. Any parent that pays attention closely to their children can see right away how children react to attention from others, especially from those close to them. Attention for children is a way for them to feel security and feel loved and wanted.

You can learn almost everything you need to know about parenting your children by paying close attention to them. It’s not easy, especially in today’s rush-rush world.

Use your multitasking to free up time to spend with your kids.

New Born Baby

Your new baby is making a big adjustment to her new world. What a different world it is than the one he/she was in for the last nine months!  He/she is adjusting to new feels, sounds, sights, smells and tastes and learning that the world is a safe and responsive place where he/she will get her needs met. He/she is working on becoming familiar with the faces, voices, smells and sounds of her important people and is figuring out how to communicate her needs to you. He/she doesn’t understand her communication system any better than you do, but the two of you are working together to understand each other. You are learning to understand her different signals and she is learning to refine them so she can communicate her needs more specifically.

Catch them being good

Give attention for appropriate behavior. Look for opportunities to make a positive comment, to pat a child on the shoulder, to share an activity, and to have a conversation. Fill up the attention hole with good stuff as many times a day as you can. Surely we can all do better than that 3.5 minute daily average!

Teenagers

Children need attention from their parents because that is how they feel safe and secure. It is the most essential form of positive reinforcement. However, when children begin adolescence and enter their teenage years, they are earnestly searching for who they are and where they fit in. They crave acceptance and if they have experienced a lack of attention or interest from their parents, they will seek acceptance wherever they can find it.

Development

Studies show that children who receive regular attention from their parents are more intelligent, sociable, and do not have as many learning problems than those who do not receive regular attention from their parents. It would seem that any parent, after hearing those statistics, would want to give their children all the attention in the world.

Love And Security 
There is a big difference between spoiling your kids and paying attention to them. In this case this is basically advising you as a parent that you should be aware of whats going on in your children’s life’s and pay attention to them and not neglect them. Especially if most of the day your not around them or your always busy trying to satisfy someone else’s needs, (work, insignificant other, etc.)  So just pay attention to your children, teach them right from wrong and be there for them. That’s all they really need to be happy and feel loved and secure. Just make more time for them even if its hard, they will thank you for it later!

Tips for parents:

* Keep an eye on your child’s activities at home
* Bond with them over homework and household chores
* Plan weekend trips and getaways together
* Couples must divide their responsibilities of spending time with kids
* Don’t force kids into tuitions
* Appreciate their work and effort
* Make your children feel free when they are with you , so that they will open up and tell you whats bothering them.